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LAST WEEK, COMEDIAN Zach Broussard enlisted actors and volunteers to pose for fake engagement photos.
The people in question then posted photos of the moment on social media.
The conclusion? If you post an engagement photo, you’re going to be inundated with likes and comments from well-meaning Facebook acquaintances — even if the person in that photo is a stranger and the whole thing is staged.
But what else can earn you likes/attention on Facebook?
1. Post a status announcing your plans to emigrate
Minimum guaranteed: 142
Feeling down? Craving attention?
Announce your intention to emigrate and you’ll soon be swimming in congratulatory comments from well-wishers to the effect of, “Good luck on your new adventure, hun!” and “Let’s grab a pint before you head off!!!”
2. Share a snap of your passport and/or plane ticket before you board a plane
If there’s one thing Irish people love, it’s going on holidays. Even if they’re seething with jealousy, they’ll still most likely be happy for you. “Good for her. The weather is shite here. I hope she has a lovely time.”
Tip: when posting such a status, make sure to “check in” at Dublin Airport.
;)
3. Somehow manage to take a selfie with someone famous
Perhaps you randomly bumped into Fran from Love/Hate in a pub. Or managed to convince John Mullane to pose for a photo while on a night out in Waterford.
Post the photo with a self-effacing comment like, “Oh, just catching up with old friends…” and sit back while the likes roll in.
This might not rake in tons of likes, but it’s nonetheless a solid bet. The success of this photo is hugely dependent on the timing.
Such a photo is best kept for a sunny weekday evening when it’s considered “cheeky” to be drinking in the first place. “The mad bitch,” people will think. “Fair play to her!”
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Any other time and people will think that (a) you’re smug and (b) you might have a problem.
5. A photo of you and your significant other on your anniversary
A photo of you two looking cute and goofy accompanied by a caption like, “Three years with this man. Here’s to many more”? People will eat it up like it’s dinner going cold.
6. A funny observation about something that could “only happen in Ireland”
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We couldn't find this Tweet
Minimum likes guaranteed: 25 likes
When your Facebook game is lacking, it may be time to whip out a funny anecdote about something that “could only happen in Ireland”.
Perhaps it’s an amusing encounter with a bus driver, a funny comment you “overheard” (read: made up), a photo of a sign…
Either way, people will be saying, “LOL! Only in Ireland!”
Annoyingly, this one requires you to actually be pregnant.
But if you’re lucky enough to be expecting, then you can also expect (haha, get it?) a whole bunch of likes on pretty much any photo between now and the baby’s birth.
Top tip: towards the end of your pregnancy, post a photo demonstrating how you can’t see your toes anymore.
People love when bumps be obscurin’ people’s toes.
Any photo of a child aged between 0-4 doing literally anything is Facebook gold dust. It doesn’t even have to be your own child! (Although that will get more likes.) It can be a niece, nephew, godchild… the world is your oyster.
Take a photo of them sleeping and refer to them as your “little man” or “little woman” and your work is done, my friends.
NOTE: With great power comes great responsibility. You must not abuse the right to post photos of your child otherwise everyone you know will begin to resent you/hide you from their timeline.
Saturday 23 November, 2024
Saturday 23 November, 2024
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How To Get Likes on Irish Facebook: A Definitive Guide
LAST WEEK, COMEDIAN Zach Broussard enlisted actors and volunteers to pose for fake engagement photos.
The people in question then posted photos of the moment on social media.
The conclusion? If you post an engagement photo, you’re going to be inundated with likes and comments from well-meaning Facebook acquaintances — even if the person in that photo is a stranger and the whole thing is staged.
But what else can earn you likes/attention on Facebook?
1. Post a status announcing your plans to emigrate
Minimum guaranteed: 142
Feeling down? Craving attention?
Announce your intention to emigrate and you’ll soon be swimming in congratulatory comments from well-wishers to the effect of, “Good luck on your new adventure, hun!” and “Let’s grab a pint before you head off!!!”
2. Share a snap of your passport and/or plane ticket before you board a plane
Minimum likes guaranteed: 36 likes
If there’s one thing Irish people love, it’s going on holidays. Even if they’re seething with jealousy, they’ll still most likely be happy for you. “Good for her. The weather is shite here. I hope she has a lovely time.”
Tip: when posting such a status, make sure to “check in” at Dublin Airport.
;)
3. Somehow manage to take a selfie with someone famous
Minimum likes guaranteed: 51 likes
Perhaps you randomly bumped into Fran from Love/Hate in a pub. Or managed to convince John Mullane to pose for a photo while on a night out in Waterford.
Post the photo with a self-effacing comment like, “Oh, just catching up with old friends…” and sit back while the likes roll in.
4. Taking a photo of a fancy drink
Minimum likes guaranteed: 15 likes
This might not rake in tons of likes, but it’s nonetheless a solid bet. The success of this photo is hugely dependent on the timing.
Such a photo is best kept for a sunny weekday evening when it’s considered “cheeky” to be drinking in the first place. “The mad bitch,” people will think. “Fair play to her!”
Any other time and people will think that (a) you’re smug and (b) you might have a problem.
5. A photo of you and your significant other on your anniversary
Minimum likes guaranteed: 45 likes
Even the biggest haters can’t hate on true love.
A photo of you two looking cute and goofy accompanied by a caption like, “Three years with this man. Here’s to many more”? People will eat it up like it’s dinner going cold.
6. A funny observation about something that could “only happen in Ireland”
Whoops!
We couldn't find this Tweet
Minimum likes guaranteed: 25 likes
When your Facebook game is lacking, it may be time to whip out a funny anecdote about something that “could only happen in Ireland”.
Perhaps it’s an amusing encounter with a bus driver, a funny comment you “overheard” (read: made up), a photo of a sign…
Either way, people will be saying, “LOL! Only in Ireland!”
7. Share a photo of you/your partner’s baby bump
Minimum likes guaranteed: 125 likes
Annoyingly, this one requires you to actually be pregnant.
But if you’re lucky enough to be expecting, then you can also expect (haha, get it?) a whole bunch of likes on pretty much any photo between now and the baby’s birth.
Top tip: towards the end of your pregnancy, post a photo demonstrating how you can’t see your toes anymore.
People love when bumps be obscurin’ people’s toes.
8. Or pretty much any photo of a baby/small child
Minimum likes guaranteed: ONE MILLION LIKES
THE HOLY GRAIL.
Any photo of a child aged between 0-4 doing literally anything is Facebook gold dust. It doesn’t even have to be your own child! (Although that will get more likes.) It can be a niece, nephew, godchild… the world is your oyster.
Take a photo of them sleeping and refer to them as your “little man” or “little woman” and your work is done, my friends.
NOTE: With great power comes great responsibility. You must not abuse the right to post photos of your child otherwise everyone you know will begin to resent you/hide you from their timeline.
Be careful out there.
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